When Being You Is Beyond Right And Wrong

The greatest irony is
to not know
that we are
conditioned minds
looking for
unconditional love,
Unable to be
that which
we seek,
asking of others,
what we attempt
not to do
for ourselves.

– Saachi


Have you noticed that our movement in thought and action significantly sways between running towards or away from people and circumstances? Many months of self inquiry and meditation settled the confusion. I found that all this while it was the longing for the freedom to be who I am. It determined the inclination or avoidance, verdicts and choices in relationships. A thorough look at most of my connections and enlisting those who had greater resistance to my perspectives, revealed the length of emotional distance among us.

This is usually an immediate reaction to being judged as wrong when rejected for holding a certain view or conducting ourselves as per our will. Its an auto-trigger and instantly fires emotions relating to invalidation. It can be traced back to our childhood and forms a large part of the programming/wiring as many parents take a lead role of decision-making for their children. Invalidation that occurs in everyday life (in our young days) is subtle yet powerful due to its repetition and ends up forming a natural part of behavior as we grow. Therefore continuing in adulthood where unknowingly we become closed or intolerant to contradicting views.

This pattern may be common though varying in degrees depending on whether (in our early days) we were dismissed in a direct authoritative manner, explained with reasons for declining our point, or given an environment for open and healthy discussion. On consistently being turned down we build a rigid approach towards most of what life brings to us. As a consequence, we persistently deny others the freedom to be themselves because we were not given that freedom.

By connecting within we see that at the core of our thoughts, root of our actions and center of our being sits a craving for unconditional expression and acceptance. When the idea of what we should or shouldn’t be is removed, the experience of being loved in our entirety is felt. Paradoxically, we search to receive it from others while not having the capacity to give the same.

By lifting the label of wrong, the concept of being right simply moves away. These opposites go hand in hand, where one cannot exist without the other. The same applies to good/bad and other similar categorizations that we are accustomed to. When no-one or nothing is stretched by these extremes, a space is created where all life is released of judgement. For me this is what liberation means, letting go of myself from the clutches of human conditioning which mysteriously will untie all of humanity from it. To unchain the contents of our mind, is to unchain everything and everyone held in it.

Unlearning and Unbecoming Me,
Saachi