Every unlovable soul
you come across
is often in dire need of it.
I read somewhere that believing in absence of anything in our life attracts or maintains the shortage. Our natural inclination to remind and recreate such beliefs solidifies them into our reality. To confess, I spent most of my life in hunger of love and in absolute ignorance never thought of growing it for myself. In the rut I turned into an unappreciative and un-lovable being around who many chose not to be.
Soon I figured there was a common frustration between me and those who’ve ‘almost’ gone out of my reach. We were expressing ourselves through the absence of love, compassion and other inadequacies in our lives. The emptiness had become the source of our distress and in our individual struggles to fulfill that space we attacked each other. There was no scope of empathy for we were glued to our psychological ambitions.
The ultimate truth had been lying under the rubble of assumptions and corrupt imagination built up over years which had yet to be cleared on all sides. Overtaken by emotions we had lost the point that none of us were born with an ugly heart or mind, the decay was caused due to countless unconscious interactions and auto-conditioning in the environment cooked up by the society.
The uncontrollable external factors continued to influence but fortunately a day came when my morale hit rock bottom. Yes, it was a stroke of good luck. I’m grateful that my mental strength wasn’t enough to stop the fall for it was the point of U-Turn for my miseries. How or who made it happen was irrelevant then. Why I let it happen grabbed my attention. After much contemplation I nailed the cause, stood up, brushed my soul and assured to fill that vacant space. With this promise I took off on a reverse journey moving upwards hoping (still) to nurture the ability to love the un-lovable so there are fewer versions of what I once was.
Thanks to the handful who never narrowed their range of affection through all the phases when I wasn’t reflecting my true self. You’ve kept me from crossing the line to enter insanity and so I’m able to share many of my learnings today.