Have you ever stitched a tattered past,
Re-made bonds with fabric that lasts?
These two lines popped in my head instantly when given a ‘word of the day’ challenge to use ‘Stitch’. Probably came from the desire to use something intangible, as easily as a needle, to fix all thats shattered.
I’ve observed and also experienced dead ends in relationships. Egos making humans walk out without scope of negotiation or change. Initially it was unbelievable and I’d keep trying until the message was clear that certain people don’t intend to accept differences. I have been rigid too yet with a tinge of hope and handful of effort towards harmony.
Not sure what approach is universal if one truly wishes to mend, but my father and ex-boss always taught me to put across my concerns clearly in a talk. It gave me the shivers yet seemed worth a shot. After a few successful attempts my confidence went soaring. How innocent I was to assume that a solution is always reachable. Little did I ever expect the scene getting distorted beyond repair, in some cases.
After a careful review of my personal experiences I derived that ‘both sides’ must be willing to unite. Being an effective communicator doesn’t help if the opposite party has pre-decided to keep you at bay. Though agreeing on a few rules together could keep you in sync even if you’re poles apart –
- Maintain Integrity
- Own Up To Your Mistakes
- Erase Trails Of Unpleasant Interactions From The Past
- Focus On A Renewed Base For The Future
- Brainstorm Solutions
- Be Precise While Communicating
This set of behaviors is the responsibility of every individual. If one is suggesting amicable closure and the other still brings up memories of quarrels from the past, you will never reach a common ground. If one is faking stories and the other is building a fresh path for the future of the relationship, it’ll fall apart. Its not some sort of science nor a theory I read. Each point was penned while I was reliving my failures.
Some tough nuts leave you with no choice but to absorb every blame. After all, it all boils down to who’s reputation gets stained. Though when you get pushed over the edge, just call it quits to safeguard your self-respect.
You may also have acknowledged and asked for forgiveness if genuinely guilty of previous misconduct. If they seem to be glued to those scenes and refuse to take their view off the rear mirror, be aware the relation won’t survive long.
Don’t form a habit of letting go at once nor hold on until you reach a point of self-destruction. Just know where to draw the line.